English Dogs in Bangkok
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Ninja Apocalypse Movie Review
With a title like Ninja Apocalypse, I figured I was in for a total cheese fest. Truth be told, I went in with low expectations, but this film delivered all of the action I could handle, and then some! Literally, the film had everything possible for an action movie. Copious fights, beat up Jeep Cherokee for transportation, ninjas, zombies, dangerous ladies, and big hairy men who get angry at the drop of a hat, and of course many bottles of Voss Water!
Ninja Apocalypse begins two years after some sort of computer generated, stock footage nuclear annihilation. No matter, it is all about the action, in this film warriors are divided into tribal units called clans Each clan is controlling part of the parched landscape. After years of fighting, the supreme leader, Fumitaka (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa ) has decided to hold a meeting of all of the clan leaders, at his literally underground lair.
The meeting spot is so far underground a special elevator is needed to get there, and apparently, those elevators happen to exist, in the desert in the middle of nowhere! Once inside, Fumitaka begins to tell everyone to lay down their weapons and fight a new, common, more sinister enemy, another kingdom, hell bent on systematically destroying the clans one by one. After declaring a year of peace, someone in the crowd hurls a throwing star, poor, Fumitaka is dead, no this is not a spoiler, it happens in the first 18 minutes of Ninja Apocalypse.
Turns out, everyone is accusing the Lost Clan leader Cage (Christian Oliver) of killing Fumitaka, and the rest of Ninja Apocalypse turns out to be an underground fight to clear his name. The audience is introduced to some very wild tribes including one tribe, who are vicious biters and move stealthily like quick night hunting animals, another tribe who use blasting powder as weapons, and one tribe, which actually consists of one person, who can multiply herself named Siren, a sorceress, demon like, portrayed by a very attractive, tightly black clad Antoinette Kalaj Not surprisingly they all want Cage, the leader of the Lost Clan, dead.. As a side comment, Antoinette actually is pretty convincing in her sexy Siren role, she delivered her lines with a sultry verve, and gave this testosterone fest a bit of balance. Tars Macken is so calm and mellow, but like a top that is spun, as soon as she gets to fighting the angry Tara face comes out, and no one is safe haha!
Above Photo :Antoinette Kalaj as Siren, gets her man!
Though the film has a rather thin plot, Ninja Apocalypse is crammed full of much action to keep the 83 minute film moving it is hard to notice. At every turn there is a fight, a real fight, like a HK film the fights are long and brutal. Multiple fights also occur at the same time, and we get quick edits, and the film cuts between them, sadly this distracts from their intensity.
Perhaps my two favorite fights in the film involved the ladies, the first one, an adorable, but violent character named Mar (Tara Macken) is confronted by two "ninja" dressed thugs and a massive fight ensues. She is soon backed up against the wall and proclaims "Two on one, I guess that is even!" In fact it is, haha Tara has enhanced powers as her energy force can move objects to her. An entertaining fight to watch for sure.Secondly the fight between Siren Antoinette Kalaj well actually the fantastic Caitlin Dechelle as her double, blasts some sexy intesity, by pulling out the catsuit and salaciously digging her nails into members of the lost clan. The fight is creative and well planned from fight co-ordinater Matt Berberi
The rest of the fights are great, especially when they clan reach the bottom from where there are, wait for it, wait for it, ZOMBIES!
Nitpicking about the lack of scenery in the underground setting is not really necessary, as this film has some pretty cool gore scenes. I know more films are using the CGI blood splatter now, but I wish they would either color it properly or integrate it. Not a commentary specifically about this film as many Asian horror films are doing this.
Overall this is a pretty cool B-Movie, forget the haters, yeah the plot is thin, but damn, what do you expect it is an action film, with copious fighting and Ernie Reyes Jr.! I rate Ninja Apocalypse a rousing 7 swords out of 10, Own it if you enjoy Asian style action with many fights!
For more information go to the film's website @ http://www.ninjaapocalypsemovie.com/
Preorder on Amazon film comes out August 5th! @
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It's The Warriors. Same plot- same scenes- same everything. Know your film history- at least in the action genre that you wallow in. Goodnight.
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